Close Quarters

Can you imagine living in a small, two-bedroom apartment as a family of nine?  When three of those nine are teenaged girls and there is only one bathroom?  Afghans are used to living in close quarters and sharing family space, but it can’t always be easy.  When my friend Nuria invited me and my husband over for lunch, I was able to catch a glimpse!

I met Nuria last year when she started coming to English class.  She was an eager learner, and as her language improved I began to hear more of her story.  She and her family came to the US two and a half years ago.  Her husband was a military medic and worked alongside Americans in Afghanistan, so he was able to get a visa to move to the US.  They have seven children—six girls and a boy!  Nuria’s husband is studying English and hopes to eventually get a job in health care.

Nuria invited us to her apartment for lunch, and she and her teenaged daughters worked together to make an Afghan specialty called “mantu.”  They filled little squares of dough with a spicy meat mixture, then steamed them like a kind of dumpling.  It’s a good thing they had had practice, because they made hundreds of these little dumplings while I sat and talked with them!  They wanted to have plenty of extra to take over to an Afghan family in another apartment who had just arrived.

When the mantu were ready, Nuria arranged some on a big platter and spooned two sauces over them—a lentil sauce and a yogurt sauce.  We enjoyed this feast together seated around the platter on the floor.  We asked Nuria’s husband Najib to tell us a little more about his work in Afghanistan, but he didn’t say much.  It was clear that he had been in some very stressful situations and seen some real suffering.  But he was hospitable to us and kind and attentive to his wife and kids.

The teenaged girls speak English well, with only slight accents.  The two oldest, who are 18 and 19, are both hoping to become doctors some day.  They say that their father encourages them to study and work hard, and not to worry about getting married, although their grandmother in Afghanistan often asks how long they are planning to wait to find husbands!  They told me that their father had paid for private English lessons for them while they were still in Afghanistan in order to prepare them for the move to the US.  I could see real affection and respect for Najib and gratitude for how he cares for and encourages them.

This family is fortunate to have been able to transition to the US all together—many were not.   Nuria and Najib are working hard to take care of their children and provide a loving home as they all adapt to American life.  My prayer is that they will connect with the loving heart of their Heavenly Father as well.


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